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You can have the best parents, the best education, the best life, and like me, a successful career helping other people achieve their best emotional health, and still have a limiting belief “pop-up” and blindside you when you least expect it.
When my youngest daughter was a junior in high school, I walked in my bathroom where she was soaking in the Jacuzzi. She had one leg propped up on the side of the tub. When I looked over I noticed a colorful globe of the world on her ankle. She saw me staring and quickly put her foot in the water. I inquired, “Kim, that will wash off won’t it?” She reluctantly looked at me and answered, “Mom, it’s the world”. “I know it’s the world, Kim. That wasn’t my question.” She looked me straight in the eye and said, “No, Mom, it won’t wash off. I chose the world because it means something to me. We need to start taking better care of the earth, and reach out to other people around the world.” I responded, “Well, don’t just wear it on your body, do something about it”!
Then I went on about all the people who protest and complain about what’s going on in the world, but don’t do anything constructive about it. I referred to the “hippies” I grew up with in the 60’s and 70’s. She listened and then she asked, “Mom, what does that have to do with my tattoo?” I said, “A lot of young people who are protesting about things in the world, cop out, take drugs, and point fingers instead of taking responsibility and trying to make a difference.” “And my tattoo, Mom?” I replied, “A lot of those kids have tattoos. I guess I associate tattoos with drugs and hippies.”
Kim spoke very softly, “You always taught us not to stereotype people. It sounds like that’s what you are doing.” She had me. I felt embarrassed and a little ashamed to have my prejudice so blatantly exposed. I said, “You’re right, Kim, that is what I am doing. As hard as it is to say, thanks for pointing it out.”
As I walked out of the bathroom, I realized that I had been taken over by a deeply buried belief based on fear. The trigger for my emotional response was seeing “my little girl” (not so little anymore) with a tattoo. With Kim’s help the belief was resurrected and brought into the light where I could see it more clearly. Like so many beliefs buried in our “hidden mind” it triggered a visceral response with no basis in fact. I thought of the many people who had tattoos who were perfectly nice people, not just kids in high school and college, where it had become a “fad”, but adults that I knew as well. I was a little surprised that even after years of working to become more “conscious” in my life, and helping others do the same, I was “taken over” by an unconscious belief. I was chagrined by my irrational reaction to Kim’s tattoo.
As I noticed the direction my thoughts were taking, I “consciously” stopped being hard on myself and began feeling grateful for the insights. I know that learning and relearning is the process of life. The intention of the Universe is impeccable. Through our experiences we are given opportunities, sometimes again and again, to uncover and release beliefs that do not serve us, or that create negativity in our lives (limiting beliefs). We find ourselves in the same situation, or with the same type of people, or dealing with the same issues over and over until a light bulb comes on. When we uncover the belief that has us repeating the story that keeps us stuck in negativity and fear, like I did with Kim and her tattoo, we can look at the situation through more objective eyes. Then we are free to learn from it and let it go.
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